Big House Small Family

by Carolyn Kipper

When we moved from Texas to California a few years ago we knew we’d have to downsize. Our dream was to live within walking distance to the beach and that meant higher prices for a smaller home. As home prices continue to go up, people looking to buy a house today have to decide what they are willing to give up (unless they have an unlimited budget). Do you choose your ideal location or ideal house? Going just 10-15 minutes inland might give you the option to buy a new build or a completely renovated home twice as big as a house closer to the ocean. For us we chose to go small, sacrificing space in order to have the location we wanted. 

When you think of small, you might envision us living in a 500-square foot tiny home, but that’s not the case. Our house is right around 1,600 SF, with 4 bedrooms (one which is tiny and doesn’t count as a true bedroom) and one bathroom, which is probably the biggest complaint for our family of six (we have 3 pre-teen/teen daughters and a potty training 2 year old!). While 1,600 SF might not sound too small, according to the most recent U.S. Census Bureau data, the average size of a newly built home in 2021 is 2,657 square feet and according to my research (aka. google) it is widely believed that each person in a home requires around 400-500 square feet of living space, which means we are living small for our family size. But houses weren’t always so big, back in 1950 when mid-century modern style reigned, the size of a newly built single-family home was just 983 square feet. Houses have been getting larger every year since then, up until 2015 when the trend started to reverse. Could it be that more and more people are deciding to live with less, or is it that prices are so high that big homes are no longer affordable? Whatever the reason may be, I’m here to offer you some insight into how we live in a small house with a big family.

Read on for 5 ways you can make a smaller home work for your family:

1. Embrace the Outdoors!

Fortunately we live in San Clemente with incredible weather, because we truly get to live outside year round. Back in Texas we had a full acre lot, but almost never actually used the space. The climate in Houston wasn’t conducive to hanging outside very often. Our lot here may be significantly smaller, but we actually use it - from dining outside, to hosting friends on our patio, to playing with our kids, to doing yoga - having outdoor space nearly doubles the size of our living space and allows us room to spread out. If you are thinking about moving to a smaller home, consider properties with a bit of outdoor space.

2. Let your kids share a room

Guess what? It turns out that (most) kids love to share a room. Sure my daughters still fight on occasion, but in general we’ve had zero issues with them sharing a room. I can hear them whispering and giggling at night long after we’ve told them to go to bed. I think it’s forced them to create a bond that will last well past the sharing-a-room years. Plus it teaches them about sharing in general, which is a good thing in my book. And lastly, eventually kids grow up and move out (as hard as that is to imagine when you are in the thick of it!). One by one our extra bedrooms will get empty and someday this 1,600 SF house might actually feel big to us. 

3. Get rid of everything that doesn't have a “home”

When we left Texas we moved out of a 3,700 SF house into this one. The task of getting rid of more than 2,000 square feet of STUFF was daunting, but also eye-opening. We quickly realized how much we owned that didn’t serve a purpose; a chair we never actually sat in, items of furniture that were strictly decor, artwork that we didn’t love, old linens that were never used, duplicates of tools and kitchen appliances. In this smaller house we are forced to be “minimalists” otherwise it would quickly get out of control. Practice the art of Marie Kondo - very quickly hold an item you own and if it “sparks joy” or you have an actual purpose for it, then keep it. Everything else has to go. The biggest problem I see with friends is that they have WAY too much kid stuff. Ask yourself if your kids actually need all of that? If they go to school everyday and prefer to hang at the park or outside every weekend, then why do you have so many indoor toys that get used maybe twice a year? Ditch it all. Don’t feel bad that it was a gift. There is a gift in letting go and giving it away to someone who will actually enjoy it. Be ruthless. I even toss my kids artwork and mementos. If you really love something then display it! Frame their best artwork. I had my daughters design custom stuffed animals based on their cutest drawings and 5+ years later they still snuggle them every night. Another idea is to take a picture of their artwork!

4. Get creative with your use of space.

I’m currently writing this from my office, which is also my bedroom. I used to have a dedicated office, but this works just as well. I got rid of my large desk and desktop computer and migrated to a wall mounted minimalist desk that also serves as a bookshelf. My new computer is a laptop and I love that I can work anywhere - sometimes overlooking the ocean on a nice day or sitting outside while the kids play. I also used to have a workout room, but now it's all hidden away; our free weights are stored under our couch, along with my yoga mats, our peloton is in my husband's detached office, but we also got rid of a lot of unused equipment, opting instead for gym memberships… or preferably a walk along the beach trail. 

5. Define what truly matters to you

You might be reading this thinking that you could never live in a small house and that’s okay! For some people space is what they crave. My best advice is to ignore other people's opinions (yes even this article!) and focus on what your end goal is. If we had listened to friends and family we would have never bought our current house. People told us it was too small, needed too much work, they said our neighborhood didn't have enough kids, the schools weren't the best, we wouldn't like being so close to downtown, there wasn't enough parking… the list went on and on, but we stayed true to our main goal, which was to live by the beach. Ultimately you are the only person that knows what will truly make you and your family happy, so block out all the noise. 

I touched on five ways to make small-living work for you, but I didn’t even mention the other benefits to having a smaller space; smaller houses are easier to clean, your electricity bills will be lower, and my favorite part - you can splurge on higher end finishes because the space is smaller, therefore the cost is less. We finally got the encaustic cement tile that had been out of reach in our old house. Our kitchen floor is a lot smaller here, so spending $$$ on handmade tile was within our budget. We also are a lot more thoughtful about how we fill the space, since it is so limited. I am forced to be more intentional with artwork and furniture. I only buy things that I truly love.